i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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