I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize