We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
