Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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