No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
