The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Panties = found
Randomize
