K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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