32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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