Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
