we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
