You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you made out with another girl for some wings
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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