a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
