Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
