im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
