I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
