i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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