Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
