In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
