it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
