So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
