y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize