i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wear drunk well.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
