she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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