Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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