Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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