what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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