I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
