I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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