Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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