Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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