Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
NoShamevember. You game?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
