yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
