I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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