Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
