I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
