I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
