Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
