So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
