All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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