i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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