I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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