JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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