Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
