His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
