I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
