pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
