you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
