Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
