Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize