wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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