what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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