I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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