shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You smell like stripper and shame
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
