He had one of those small greek statue penises
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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