Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
