i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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