I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
